Alone Time by Stephanie Rosenbloom

August 31, 2021at Mary Lib's house

By Mary Lib

 

One reason I chose this book is because I anticipated it would precipitate some interesting discussion amongst this group of well-traveled, widely-experienced women, and that’s exactly how the afternoon unfolded. Our conversations pointed out how much we still have to look forward to learning about each other. Margie, Paige, Annie, Libby, Saran, Lucie, Joan, and I met at my home.

Stephanie Rosenbloom’s Alone Time reports her experiences as a solo traveler in four cities: Paris, Istanbul, Florence, and New York. She built her stories around food, people, and places. In each location, she celebrated opportunities she attributed to being alone: savoring random moments, being spontaneous, and enjoying the benefits of solitude. The chapter on Paris seemed to be the overall favorite of the group because of its evocative details.

Our responses to the book varied quite a bit. While most of us basically enjoyed the book, our initial expectations influenced our opinions. Margie specifically felt like what she observed as shortcomings stemmed from her own preconceived expectations. One common observation was that the book insufficiently explored the concept of alone time. Paige, who has traveled alone extensively, said, “There’s so much more to say about alone time.” She added that when she has traveled alone, she hasn’t felt alone, because people seem to be more comfortable extending offers such as home visits to solo travelers than to groups of two or more. Mary Lib related to the concept of savoring and the description of the joys of anticipation. Saran thought more could have been said about how people communicate when they don’t speak the language, and we all agreed that based on our own experiences of not knowing the language of the places we were in, this would have been a fun addition to the book. Everyone appreciated the discussion about how unique a museum or art gallery experience is when alone vs. with others.

Many people wanted to hear more about other aspects of solo travel. Annie wondered if the experience would be different for introverts than for extroverts. Libby wanted more stories showcasing the overall humanity observed and experienced by solo travelers. Through her own rich experiences from extensive travels, she was sure that much more could have been said. Saran enjoyed the description of sounds and smells in Istanbul. Lucie appreciated Rosenbloom’s comparison of taking pictures vs. truly looking and observing. Paige added that if she takes a picture now, it’s done with reverence.  Those who had traveled alone, before the era of selfies, commented on how few photos were taken during those travels. 

We heard stories about solo travel from each other. Saran traveled across South Africa and spent time stranded at a border because at an earlier crossing the agent neglected to stamp her document. She also traveled in Malawi, Venezuela, Norway & New Zealand for her Ph.D. research. Paige has traveled across Algeria and India & other places, and described some harrowing stories about jumping out of cars! Mostly, though, her stories were heartwarming. Libby spent two weeks in West Berlin waiting for a new passport after hers was stolen in East Berlin. Mary Lib traveled alone in Western Europe but suffered a setback after her wallet (with her Eurail Pass) was stolen on a train between Bratislava and Vienna.  However, she did feel like the solo trip was an important experience after growing up in the 50s & 60s when women generally assumed dependent roles. Joan described a solo train ride with a 3-week old baby and the challenges that arose along with help given by other passengers. 

The discussion unfolded as I hoped it would when selecting this book, because in the end, we learned many interesting stories from each other’s past travels and enjoyed new glimpses of what makes each of us tick.  

 

 

 

 

 

The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich

On July 27th Joanie, Mary Lib, Libby, Saran and Margie gathered at Margie's home to welcome Lucie into our group and to discuss the Night Watchman. 

While Annie was unable to attend, she did send some comments which so aptly expressed what those in attendance felt: "I think Erdrich is a gifted writer, combining Native American life and Spirituality with the often times cruel reality of modern (and past) culture. The book had truly dark parts, but the protagonist, Thomas was a stable, central force. And what interesting History!"

Lucie felt that this was one of Erdrich's best books and liked the use of  'vignettes' to tell her story. Margie had remarked that she didn't realize that she was choosing such a lengthy book, but all agreed it was an easy read and did not seem long because of the vignettes.

There were many different topics of discussion for this book. Some related to the different characters and which characters were liked and for what reasons as well as characters who might have been a bit confusing (e.g., Roderick). There was a lot of conversation regarding some of the more humorous and/or surprising side stories: the Mormon missionaries; the parade and the horse escapade; the waterjack; Thomas getting locked out of the plant. Mary Lib specifically mentioned the aspect of "time" and that Native Americans do not think about time as we so, and that was reflected in the book as there was no explicit mention of time in the book. Saran stated that there was a sliding back and forth in time. Mary Lib also thought it was quite clever how Patrice and her mom shared dreams indicating their strong connection to each other. 

There was a fair bit of discussion related to culture and history. Mary Lib highlighted that how people celebrate is an important part of their culture and this aspect certainly was included in this story. Libby commented that she got into the book so quickly as the story was taking place in our lifetime. Margie felt the best part of the book was the Afterword which provided historical detail and information regarding the basis of the characters. Lucie offered that this was perhaps one of Erdirch's best stories because it was so personal.

In regards to the historical nature of this novel we did reflect on the timeliness of it with the current focus on reparations related to the boarding schools. There was also mention of the fact that young women are still disappearing not unlike what happened in this book. We all agreed that this was a helpful book to read at this time in light of what's occurred in the last year with regards to  race relations. 

One final topic that was touched on was the whole notion of the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Margie chose this book because it had just received it. In reviewing the list of all books that had received this prize she highlighted some that we had read, and that were not especially well received by our group although many titles are well-known and well liked.  Of course that lead to a search of what is the criteria for receiving the Pulitzer. We were all interested to learn that there is no specific criteria! While the definition of this award has changed over the years the most current definition (1984) states, "For distinguished fiction published in book form during the year by an American author, preferably dealing with American life." I think we could all agree that The Night Watchman fits this definition. The question put to me by someone outside of our group was , "Do you think it deserved the award?" How I wish I had asked that question of the group. 

Ladybird, Collected by Meghan Heriford

 Joan, Margie, Sheri, Paige, Mary Lib, Libby, Saran joined the 27 April discussion of Ladybird, Collected, still relying on Zoom.

We often read books by accomplished and recognized authors, beginning our discussions with a summary of the author’s books, prizes, interviews, or videos. Meg Heriford has no previous books or recognition; she is an ordinary – but an extraordinary - hard-working person. This is a book of short essays detailing the origins of the Ladybird diner, but it is really a book about her. It is a book about relationships and about the remarkable woman at their core.

We were all charmed by Heriford but know too little about her to explain why. What is amazing about her is at once easy and hard to articulate. The easily identified characteristics are

  She creates communities within communities, and fosters these communities actively

        She embraces the idea that small actions can have powerful impacts, reflecting on the influence of her mother on her life

She readily detects melt-downs in her employees and responds with empathy, providing $20 and 20 minutes to absorb the serenity of the neighboring bookstore

She sees people for who they are, not who she or society wants them to be

She thus accepts people without judgement. 

She has an enormous respect for life – an outright enjoyment of life for all of its warts and difficulties

She constantly provides for others and nurtures others, expecting nothing in return 

She is a skillful writer, expressive with words, artful with revealing metaphors, and clever with her allegory of making a pie – the hours and the care and the steps involved

She is able to appreciate each moment.

These are the few characteristics we highlighted. Somewhere in these fits her uncanny knowledge of her own limits and her own ego.

Harder to understand is how she gained these skills. She includes little about her childhood, though what she does include is informative. Paige noted that people who have studied Zen Buddhism for years strive for these skills and talents, but many don’t achieve them. Most of us spend an entire lifetime striving to learn how not to judge, how to see people for themselves, how to nurture others.

Heriford’s writing is straightforward and honest, while expressive and evocative. She is honest and open about her strengths and weaknesses (her ‘limited skill set’) and fully aware of her mistakes and shortcomings. Her writing conveys a person uncommonly aware and accepting of who she is. This awareness likely lies behind (in part at least) her ability to see others as they are. She does not look to others for a reinforcement of herself; she welcomes the world not as a reflection of who she is, or what she does or does not do well. Is it because she seems to accept herself that she can openly accept others, finding something new, refreshing, and engaging in the world around her? We all loved the book, recognizing that we will return to it often, re-read it often, use it for pure enjoyment, solace, and maybe even guidance. And we ended our discussion as Heriford began her book: with pies.

PASSING by Nella Larsen

 On March 30, 2021, there were six people at our Zoom book group:  Annie, Libby, Marylib, Joan, Saran, and Sheri.  Libby chose this small short novel written in 1929, but it was by no means small in its portrayal of a conflicting world of two women that could have made the same choice in life but went very diverging ways.  It was one of the most interesting group discussions, no one was untouched by the book.

Clare made the choice to pass as white, and marry a well-off bigoted white man, even though she was light skinned of mixed race.  Irene made the choice to marry into a stable black middle class even though she could have passed as white and she did so when convenient.  The story unfolds as each woman steps into the other one's life and to Libby, it became more of a psychological inner battle, mainly for Irene who remained in the Negro world.  Clare entered into Irene's world as Marylib and others felt, as a thrill seeker, a risk taker, and as a result Clare upset the carefully stable planned life of Irene as a successful middle class black.  Some felt that the black and white issue was just a framework for the universal themes of security, control, class, and jealousy.

Clare refuses to feel the expected anguish and anxiety at the possible betrayal of her black identity and socializes with blacks for the purposes of excitement rather than any racial solidarity.  Clare knew from an early age living with two white aunts how fluid class boundaries could be, so she passed as white.  "Passing itself becomes a kind of race, with its own codes of behavior, carefully drawn lines, and exclusions."  (Annie)  Some felt Clare was shallow, and even though she had to hide her race all the time, and flaunted the risk.  "The trouble with Clare was, not only that she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, but that she wanted to nibble at the cakes of other folks as well."

Irene felt that Clare threatened her way of life.  When Clare reentered her life,  she became insecure about her husband and status and all that she had achieved in her life.  But as Annie reminded us from the book, Irene was like a moth to a flame, she was totally drawn to Clare, who was glamorous, beautiful, and "exquisite, golden, fragrant, and flaunting."  She was jealous of Clare, but Clare does say at one time to Irene, "You're free, you're happy."  Clare expresses her jealousy outwardly even though Irene's inner turmoil is a big part of the novel.

The author, Nella Larsen was a light skinned black, often called mulatto near the turn of the 20th century.  Her parents were of mixed race but her father left early in her life and her Danish mother married another Dane and they lived in white middle class neighborhoods.  She must have gone through life wondering at her identity and searching for financial stability.  In making choices in her life, Nella Larsen reflected the two women in the novel "Passing" who seemingly become obsessed with each other's chosen path.  The author is quite adroit at writing about the process of the mind that is divided against itself, "that fights between the dictates of reason and desire."  

At one time Irene and her husband Brian discuss passing.  And Irene says, "It's funny about passing.  We disapprove of it and at the same time condone it.  It excites our contempt and yet we rather admire it.  We shy away from it with an odd kind of revulsion, but we protect it."  As Clare enters the world of of the blacks in Harlem, we see her boldly going to events and parties, until one party, Clare's husband shows up and knows his wife is black.  The events of Clare's death presumably going out of the window by who's hand we do not know, are foggy.  As Saran said, the story would have dragged on otherwise, so it had to have an abrupt ending.  Some of the last words are "death by misadventure..." 

There are so many other themes hinted at with this book, but they didn't ring true to the group, such as a sexual attraction between the two women.  We are all looking forward to the movie coming out later this fall to see how these two women and their situations are portrayed.

"DEEP CREEK--Finding Hope in the High Country" by Pam Houston

 "My mother always told me, I don't want to see you until dinner. And with those words she freed me to go out and love the earth."

Pam Houston's love of the earth, particularly her love of a ranch she purchased in Creede, CO for 5% down, almost 30 years ago, is the running theme of this memoir. She takes the reader briefly through her abusive, terrifying childhood which set the stage for a life filled with sometimes extreme adventures, extensive travel, and a menagerie of animals on her 120 acre ranch.

Libby, Joanie, Mary Lib, Sheri, Saran, and Paige were present today. On zoom of course. 

Most of us liked, even loved the book. Comments were made about  Pam's ability to clearly encapsulate a moment or feeling with well chosen words, or how she made her story personal for us. For example, her italicized "Ranch Almanac" sections, in which she told sometimes endearing, sometimes humorous stories about the challenges and rewards of life on the ranch. Or, how she did not dwell on her abusive childhood, but wove the impacts of that into her life story (ie. her involvement in hi risk outdoor adventures: what did she have to lose after all she had been through as a child).

A comment was made about the book being somewhat disjointed. The extreme gaps between working on the ranch and then being in some far flung locale eating sushi. And, questioning how she could love a place so much, and yet be gone from it so often, leaving it to sometimes questionable care-takers.

I thought the section, "Diary of a Fire", was educational and relevant, but over-long. Other's did not agree, and thought that Pam was able to represent the impact of the moment vividly throughout this chapter. And, of course everyone was able to relate to many parts of this chapter, from definitions of fire-specific vocabulary, to being glued to InciWeb for days at a time.

Finally, we talked about the frequent references to the changing climate, and how do we go on, in an ethical way,  taking pleasure in being outdoors in a dying world. How do we justify all the plane travel we engage in? Pam certainly tops the list for accumulated flyer miles, and she knows it. 

I will end with a passage from her book: "We are all dying, and because of us, so is the earth. That's the most terrible, the most painful in my entire repertoire of self-torturing thoughts. But it isn't dead yet and neither are we. Are we going to drop the earth off at the vet, say goodbye at the door, and leave her to die in the hands of strangers? We can decide, even now, not to turn our backs on her in her illness. We can still decide not to let her die alone".

Annie